Back to Square One

Am all the way back to square one and will jus say that the only thing in life that is true is that ur da only obne for u n tht everybody is bloody selfish and the smartest thing to do is to be da way they are...difference being they put the mask of niceities and do it. Exams have come and u see da true colours of ppl...who won't even remeba their so calledc"friends" da minute their work is done and will conviniently forget such things but again once they are over it will al be da same story....so I wonder if this word friends is sumthin [pppl shud even try to be used...its pissin off tht ppl jus put on bloody shows....i guess its ffolish to be there for others when all that happens is in ur need they will desert u and da reasons willbe tht they were scared worried etc etc like ur feelins were neva there when u waited...maybe its time a learnt da lesson....its time i jus disconnected if ppl bother gud n if they don't then better...saves me the damn pain of even miniscule expectations as its all shit....maybewill jus go n isolate maself instead of tryin to fit in cos its stupid to do so...its all jus a damn fake.....neways gota go gotta write a paper in an hour..pray i rite sum sense n not ramnble even there........................................................tat's all there is a blank in all ways and its pissin me off.........................................................................

Feeling Unburdened....Not

A hundred thoughts...music playin in the background...there is this sense of forebonding....seems like hope is slowly vanishing...when I feel that all was just a dream...jus illusion....something I am very prone 2...since I seem 2 have them all da time...dis urge n negativity...this feelin of loneliness...da laughter all but forced as though trying to mask the pain from myself while all along it jus erodes at my soul and sneaks in to trouble me...when I feel it is yet da same...when words betray you...patience reaches its limit....da need to talk...but nobody to talk to...to have doubts.... but nobody to share them with...da urge to stay quiet...but forced into talking...da madness to scream it all out...the frustration clamouring to be let out of the thick walls....where faith is only in da fact tht there is no faith in anything else...overwhelmed by emotions...but nobody to show them too...the excitement died cos it wasn't shared...da fears haunting me...reclusing me into a shell...a zone where it all jus stays there...this confusion n dilemma leaves me with the feelings uptil the brim but not a word, not a sound, not a tear yet my eyes sayin everything, Sleep there but never letting me rest in peace...to tht elusive thing tht i don't have...to everything that went wrong...pls don't come to scew up again...n to that which consumes me....pls try to show me some meaning....

....praying for hope n lots more.