Myriad of thoughts..............in a nutshell

Hmmmm....feelin dis great need 2 express but wonder where 2 start cos everytime I do there r a thousand or so things which wanna all tumble out n in dat melee of thoughts i loose even da most basic structure of what i originally wanted 2 say so ya........maybe will write a lil bout those few here....

Tears....
Those eluding lil drops which cause pain furthermore when they refuse to fall

Laughter....
That tinkling sound which gives u hope(so all those of u fakin it....it really shows)

Hope....
The whole n sole element which keeps us alive(even not hoping is hoping)

Sorrow....
The valley which will force you to climb the mountain peaks in search of happiness

Happiness....
A state of euphoria felt by mere state of mind

Love....
That mystical beauty evading da clutches of death

Forever....
A word used carelessly without knowing da implication....nothing is forever:-)

Smile....
Da only thing of mine which is for everybody

Thoughts...
The only ones who tirelessly run around looping you into a dangle

Words...
Da harbingers of thoughts if not delivered rightly can cause a comedy of errors

Soul....
the pure white swan untainted by anything

Solitude....
Da only companion who lets u comfortably go anywhere without any demands

Silence....
The precious gift given only to those who can hear and understand it

Joy....
Seeing a baby growing up

Nature....
The lady who can kick ass right where it hurts n contraddicting it with da beauty it has even when its barren(read da desert)

Dance....
The very thing that lets me free

Books....
Those treasure chests full of hidden secrets which give the riches which none else can find

Experience....
The handsome crown that time bestows upon you.

Wisdom....
The throne given when that crown is not only worn but put to use.

Life....
As capricious as da shifting sands in the desert.

These r jus a few of da things i thought bout cos by now i've lost track of da things i was sayin so let me go cos i'm already ready 2 write a new blog.

To all those who comment...u can add ur own thoughts on any of da above .

Read a book after days....felt like am in heaven again...sumtimes feel like gettin trapped in dat world of books...where it all jus seems so real...those characters n da way they deal wid things...Nora Roberts sure has a way of sucking u into a story so simple but yet replete with character...every protaganist always teaches me sumthin...had read da latest post of a frnd...www.commotion17.blogspot.com...which speaks bout us gettin influenced by ppl i say 2 all da readers da buks u read also influence you cos knowingly unkowingly u pick up traits from every book u read...everytime i read a book feel like pickin up a new hobby...n as it always happend its a passin phase...but what i luv da most bout Nora is she transports u 2 an ideal place.....


A small town where everybody knows everybody...its like a home...life takes its own pace...u find people who are genuinely worth admirin with all their quirks...u stick by each other...familiarity is there...toss in romance da most scenic place n a creative line of work...da mountains or plains or valleys...wake up 2 them right there...


So wish could go create dat world n be like one of her protaganists...women who hold their own with a steely spine n hav so many amazing shades of character that being them for those few hours of reading makes me feel that there is a semblance of them atleast imbibed in me...the way those women hav all showed courage in some form or other is amazin...

Wonder of jus packin ma bags at times n takin off 2 kno dis world beyond ma books beyond ma college beyond me beyond dis city...feel like have the entire ocean open n waitin for me 2 explore its secrets but my ship is still in the harbour anchored so secure struggle as it may its only going 2 bob around there.....wanna be a vagaond

Once got 2 kno a person who had done jus tht packed up n left...so jealous of her...n saw she was happy where she was with all da hardships n da fruits..Da uncertainity of not knowing what adventure lay ahead on that journey jus thrills me...living life by my clock n time where i could go as i wish...do the hundred or more things i want to do n learn...all da ppl i would meet sum amzin sum not...da places i would see...wanna fall into da lap of nature n play da role it wants me 2......

Da way my heart always longs 2 be so many different things at 1 time that i keep on wonderin da dilemma i put myself through knowin all those are not possible...it is all jus a longin 4 findin dat place in ma heart which i can call ma nest n rest knowing this is where i belong ...till then i guess i will continue on this quest of knowing myself....

Someday Somewhere
The end will come
This road will take me there
N that day will be the day my heart will beat all the life it has into
That day death also wont partake from me
The knowledge of me.

Someday Somewhere
I will know me

Someday Somewhere
The world will know me

Someday Somewhere
He will find me

Someday Somewhere
I will go free

Someday Somewhere
I will fly on wings

Someday Somewhere
Family will understand

Someday Somewhere
Friends will be found

Someday Somewhere
Simplicity will be known

Someday Somewhere
Colours will blend into that perfect picture

Someday Somewhere
I will sing in tune

Someday Somewhere
I will dance like never before

Someday Somewhere
I'll write it jus da way i cant

Someday Somewhere
Peace will be found

Someday Somewhere
I will live.

Someday somewhere
The end will come
This road will take me there
N that day will be the day my heart will beat all the life it has into
That day death also wont partake from me
The knowledge of me.

Round the maze of oblivion(bliss)

Seems like eternity is here 2 stay...m wonderin wht r u supposed 2 do when u try 2 build a fortress around u n sumbody comes n loosens up da base of dat fortress...well was questioned regarding ma attitude... 4 da 1st time will say sumthin here by elaboratin...

You came out of nowhere..
Even then u were confused bout us..
But I accepted it da way it was..
I gave heart n soul mind n body
Everythin that was I

Well was I to know one day will come when u would say
Variety is the spice of life, I jus want you 2 kno
Let me please go.

I cried, I fought
I did everything in my power i thought
Then came a day I let you go
Pulled myself back from that life called "you"
Started building a life called "me"

Well then you came to say
U neva hav the time,you are too busy
But you never saw tht when i needed time
You were too busy

You asked me why I say what I say
But you only taught me those hard facts of life
That loving so much that u give more than u can
Mistake as it is, the bigger being
Not letting them know what u gave

Well now I'm dead inside
Not a feeling lies there
I care I worry but the ability
To love people has been stolen

I smile I laugh but all that
Is to fill a bigger void than what you left
The one i created to fill da one you left
Where nothing can come.

Even tears are afraid to grace their prescence
But even now I tell you this
Love whom you may
Never take them for granted one day

Take care with their heart
Lest u leave a space which will be packed
But by hollowing of another in its place
Cos nothing is for free in this world
To get some you give some.

That's bout all i can say on this topic n da fact dat i learnt da hard facts soon enough n that its ok 2 love but not ok to expect from that love...its this love which has put us all in whirl of insomnia...tossing and turning even after i guess we reach our graves....its this love which is the cause of pain so I uprooted it from its very base n today when u ask me do i feel ne attachment all i can say is i don't know n wish that i did not cos this life is about me where you cant balance the scales of justice n i can't live without those.....i'm sure u kno i always wanna balance da extremes...so once again i choose da extreme of blanking out maybe a day will come when i will go balance this one with sumbody till then this is me...how i want to be.Cos its me and my beliefs. I had once said my love is for you my tears are for you my smile is the only one for evryone........but today i say my love is for none my tears are for none my smile is the only thing
for everyone....

So I go round the maze of oblivion(bliss)....where nothing comes or goes cos its oblivion.

....its birthday time....whteva

hey its b'day time...m gona turn 18 in a few days...but 4 da 1st time don feel like it...don want it 2 come wanna stop in time n freeze....18...m jus scared of it...ppl go crazy tht finally ur 18...but for me its a transitin of sorts..i kno life will go on it will not change drastically jus cos i turned 18 but in ma mind its i finally turn adult...don wanna...wanna stay 17..its jus 2 big...as a kid i waited n waited 4 dis day..thought when im eighteen i would be sure of maself confident n not.. i repeat not confused...hell yeah i'm confused...don feel 18 i feel 5 but there are times i even feel 35...n times i feel ma age 2 (rarely)...ppl r like celebrate but i seem 2 be mourning it...various reasons...one bein ma studies..da oder da day was 2 be significant in more than1 way...n am jus 2 confused who mater so much tht i ewanna share this transition with...da transition of turning into a butterfly frm a catterpillar9atleast metaphorically)....dis feelin is wierd....dis age is wierd...not at all da way i thought it would be...an adult n yet need permission for a cuppa coffee wid frnds...can't stay late 4 work...feel helpless at times...well tht's me turnin 18!!!
let me jus end sayin...Why god why...why u doin dis 2 us.(credits to joey frm frnds)